Who am I kidding?

So I thought that I was handling this whole "going back to work" thing pretty well. I wasn't feeling too anxious about it, but I think that's only because I was so stressed out about finding childcare and getting Z to take a bottle that I didn't have the time or energy to be anxious about anything else. Now that we found our super nanny and she was successful in giving Z a bottle, I have ALL THIS ROOM in my brain to freak out about going to work, leaving Zachary with someone else, maybe even missing a minute or two of his babyhood! I feel like I'm back on the roller coaster of emotions I was riding after Zachary was born (hello, baby blues!). I keep trying to tell myself to "just breathe", but then my mind jumps to "breathe like we do in yoga" and then to "I can't go to mom & baby yoga anymore because I'll be AT WORK!" and then I'm right back where I started. And all of this anxiety is simply over the idea of leaving my baby for a few hours a day...I haven't even begun to ponder the idea of having to be productive at work again.