Adjusting my moral compass

Yesterday, I had an interesting experience. I was driving down Aurora, just about to head into the Battery Street tunnel, when a teenage boy ran across the street in front of my car. I glanced into my rear-view mirror and saw that I was being quite closely followed (i.e. tail-gated) by a truck. I was traveling the speed limit, which I think is 40mph at that point. I had Zachary in the car with me, and I immediately calculated that if I slammed on the brakes to avoid the teenager, the truck would rear-end me. With Zachary happily babbling away in the back seat of the car, the choice was obvious. Luckily, the teenager made it across the road in time.

* Note to non-Seattlites: Aurora/SR-99 is a divided highway that runs through downtown Seattle. In order to run across the road, the kid had to climb over a fence, run across two lanes of traffic, climb over the median barrier, then run across two more lanes of traffic. Basically, it's not a place where one would expect to encounter a pedestrian.

** I'd guess that if I had hit the kid, I would be arrested for criminal negligence or something similar because I didn't try to avoid him. Even though he was breaking the law by running across a 4-lane divided highway, and the guy behind me was breaking the law by following me too closely. In making the decision to protect my child, who was put in a dangerous situation by other people's bad choices, I would end up being the one at fault. That stinks. But you know what? I'd still do it.

Home sweet Ulm

This is where I grew up. This film was done as a promotional film for the Neu Ulm military installation in 1991, but the base closed in 1991 so I don't know if the film was ever used. I lived in Ulm throughout the transition from a "run-down base" to a "model installation" (1977-90). I even worked on some of the renovations when I worked at the DEH (Department of Engineering and Housing) as part of Summer Hire! And by "worked on" I mean, "made copies of the blueprints".

Thanks to Patrick for sharing this video!

Time after time, I laugh

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion is on TV, and every time I see the "Time after Time" dance scene, I giggle helplessly. How I wish life were really like this, full of spontaneous (and impeccably choreographed) dance sequences. The cheesier the better.

I concede

Deborah totally called me out on being lazy with the blogs. Whoops. I have quite a bit to catch up, and I'll start here with my excuses:

• I have a gazillion pictures from our trip back to Pennsylvania to visit Grampa Walt and Grandma Joan, and I haven't had a chance to go through them yet so I haven't been able to post anything.
• Zachary is now in a pattern of sleep/nurse/eat/play that does not give me much time to do anything other than nurse/feed/play, plus a few chores or personal tasks (e.g. shower) while he's napping.
• I failed utterly at being a true SAHM and got myself a part-time job testing ourWorld, a virtual world centered around casual gaming and social interaction. My SAHM-ness lasted for all of 1 hr 45 minutes (if you consider the working day to start at 8 AM). By 9:45 AM on my first day as a SAHM, I became a WAHM (work-at-home-mom), and I've been spending a fair amount of my copious free time testing the ourWorld site.
• It's sunny and warm and lovely outside, so I'd much rather be there than on the computer.

So those are my excuses. My next task is to actually start catching up, and I will do that very soon! But right now, I hear Z stirring from his nap...

100k benefits

I'm a bit annoyed by the airlines' new policy of charging us for each piece of checked luggage. It seems like petty nickel-and-diming to make us pay $15 - $25 to take a bag with us to our destination. Aren't we already paying to transport ourselves (and by association, our luggage) from point A to point B? We already pay extra to have the privilege of stretching out our legs, have a bite to eat, or drink something other than water, soda or coffee/tea. And on many airlines, we have to pay for the cheap headphones so that we can watch out-of-date movies on tiny screens. What else are they going to make us pay for? "I know you paid $300 for a ticket, but if you actually want a seat you're going to have to pay an additional $50."

Yes, I understand that fuel is more expensive than anticipated and the airlines are scrambling. But isn't the ability to manage your business effectively through market fluctuations a sign of competence? When did it become acceptable to run straight to your consumer and charge them for your inability to successfully operate your business? We're talking about an industry that already feels free to charge anywhere from $200 and $800 for the exact same ticket.

Anyway, this isn't what I intended to talk about. I wanted to give a quick description of what we paid 100,000 frequent flyer miles to enjoy:

• SEA to ORD: Relatively painless. We requested an aisle seat and the bulkhead row since we have a baby on our laps, and got neither. But the woman seated in the aisle seat of our row graciously traded seats.
• ORD to PGH: Flight delayed 2 hours. When we finally got on the plane, we weren't seated next to one another. Again, another passenger agreed to trade seats. This is only a 90 minute flight, so we were looking forward to a quick trip, especially since the delay meant that it was cutting directly into Zachary's bedtime, which can create a very screamy and uncomfortable situation for everyone involved. After 2.5 hours in the air (remember, it's a 90-minute flight), we get the announcement that PGH is closed to incoming traffic due to thunderstorms and we are out of fuel. So we land in CLE to refuel and wait out the storm. We finally get back in the air and arrive in PGH 5 hours late.
• PGH to ORD: Sitting at the gate 30 minutes before the flight is scheduled to leave. No plane. Still sitting there 5 minutes after the flight is scheduled to leave. Still no plane. Gate still says, "On time". Finally find out that flight is delayed an 1.5 hours. On a good note, we were given Economy Plus seats, so Chris is able to stretch his legs a bit during the flight.
• ORD to SEA: Flight is an hour late. When we finally take off, the air conditioning AND the television monitors at the back of the plane are broken.

On the bright side, Zachary was a very well-behaved little boy for the vast majority of the flights. We got several comments about what a good baby he is (including from the passengers who were sitting right next to us, which is a testament to just how good he was). One woman who traveled all the way from Seattle to Pittsburgh with us said, "We've taken a vote back here and have decided that your baby is the best baby in the world. He has been SO good on such a long travel day." People were even stopping us in baggage claim to tell us what a good boy he is. Such a clever boy!

Now that I've gotten all of my flight angst out of my system, I'll come back soon and update you on the actual trip! We went back east to introduce Zachary to the PA side of the family and have him baptized in my grandmother's church. It was a lovely and special trip, and I'll update soon with pictures!

I need more arms

I'm adding "swimming" to my list of things that are difficult to do with a baby.

Actually, the swimming itself isn't a problem. The problem is what comes after the swimming: the rinsing/drying/changing extravaganza. Trying to rinse off in the shower, then dry off the baby, put his diaper on, get his clothes on and then put him somewhere safe while you dry yourself off and change into your street clothes is challenging. Especially in a wet locker room crowded with two dozen other moms and their kids. I think it will be a lot easier once Zachary is standing (or at least sitting up very securely) so I can set him down while I try to get things organized. But nonetheless, we had a fun time at our first swim lesson! And we eventually managed to get out of there dry and fully clothed.

I scream

I have a new favorite ice cream. I know, a lactose-intolerant woman who is nursing a baby with dairy sensitivities has no business having ANY ice cream, let alone a new favorite flavor. But you've got to try this! It's Fleur de Sel Caramel ice cream from Haagen Dazs. YUM. If you like salt caramels like those from Fran's Chocolates, then you will love this ice cream. I just wish they had it in a dark chocolate version too.

My horoscope

From Astrology.com:

"Today marks the beginning of a very relaxed and carefree time in your life! Projects have been completed, tasks have been finished and goals have been attained. Now you should just kick back and schedule some time off! Explore a new hobby, or pick up a juicy book you've wanted to crack open. Your brain is open to new ideas and new ways of doing things, so fill it up! Step out of your comfort zone -- it will feel a bit scary, but only in the most exciting way."

At first I thought this was spot-on, but then I picked up on key words like "relaxed", "carefree", "kick back" and "time off". My time off used to be when I was at work, where I had the freedom to do things like make a latte or go to the restroom or even -- gasp! -- run out for a quick bite to eat without having to worry about naps, feedings, or packing up a baby plus the 90 lbs of gear he requires.

Regardless, the general gist of this horoscope is right. Today marks the start of my new life! And to celebrate, I'm sitting here in my bathrobe eating a cupcake while Zachary naps...

...but now I have to hop in the shower, because I have a meeting in an hour. I'm as bad at retiring as my dad is.

Scene from a sitcom -- where's the canned laughter?

Yesterday evening was quite exciting in our household. Zachary was cranky all day, so it had already been a very long day. I'm not sure what was going on with my normally sweet-natured little guy, but if he wasn't eating, sleeping, or being held, he was screaming. So much so that I even heard the neighbors commenting on it to one another ("Boy, sounds like someone isn't too happy today!"). One small mercy was that his overwhelming crankiness didn't interfere with his napping at all.

By the time Chris came home from work, Zachary was teetering on the brink of a complete meltdown. I asked Chris to get the air conditioner we bought for the nursery while I cleaned up Zachary, so that we could try to install the A/C before he went to bed (one possible contributor to the crankiness could be the stifling hot sauna of a room he sleeps in).

Installing the A/C is a 2-person job (why are they so darn heavy?), so Chris put Zachary in his crib while we worked. Of course, Zachary started crying. Meanwhile, we realized that we need something to secure the window sash, since it is the only thing keeping the A/C unit from falling out of the window. So Chris ran out to the garage to get some wood while I held the A/C unit in the window. At this point, Zachary had escalated his crying to a full blood-curdling scream. I thought that Chris was just getting the wood, but when he didn't return, I realized that he planned to cut it as well...while I was kneeling at the window, keeping a 50lb A/C unit from falling out and trying to comfort my screaming baby from across the room.

I yelled for Chris but he didn't hear me. So I yanked the A/C back into the room (scraping up my arms in the process) and put it on the floor so that I could pick up Zachary. As I tried to comfort Zachary, Chris came back upstairs and put the A/C back in the window so that we could measure the size of window jam we need. Unfortunately, he grabbed the A/C around the back, where it is covered with a razor-sharp screen. He nearly dropped the A/C out the window, he was bleeding all over the floor of the nursery, and the baby was still screaming his head off.

30 frazzled minutes later, Zachary was in bed for the night (with the air cooler from A-mah to keep his room comfortable), Chris' fingers were bandaged up, and I had scraped up arms and a massive headache. What a day.

Today is the first day of my new life!

Or is the the last day of my old life? I don't think either is accurate, because my "old" life ended back when I found out that I was pregnant and my "new" life is still being defined. And trust me, I'm as surprised as anyone to find out how things are turning out!

In honor of my last day of work, of course I had to push things to the limit and stay up most of the night to get things wrapped up. I never had a chance to go into the office to pack up my desk because of Zachary (it's amazing how hard it is to get anything done when you have a baby who 1. has a meltdown if he doesn't get his naps; 2. refuses to nap anywhere but in his crib; 3. eats solid meals twice a day, which must be timed in order to not interfere with nursing; and 4. is no longer content to hang out by himself). So last night, I went into the office in the middle of the night to make my last free latte and pack up my desk. I made it home at 2:30 AM, giving me just enough time to change, crawl into bed, and barely fall asleep before getting up at 3:15 AM to nurse Zachary.

So I've packed up my desk, cleared off my laptop, and moved all of my work clothes to the back of the closet. Now what? Now that I'm an official SAHM, am I going to turn into Polly Homemaker, like the picture above? I seriously doubt it. Even though I have (somewhat uncharacteristically) decided to step off the career track for a while in order to focus on being a mom, I am still the same person. I may not be tracking projects or implementing systems, but I'm probably going to find some reason to put together a few spreadsheets or do a bit of coding. Because, contrary to what a sane person may think, that is fun for me.

I've been thinking about the various nicknames that I've received at work over the years. Never have I been dubbed "Mom" or "Mother Hen" or "Den Mother" or anything nurturing and maternal like that*. No, I'm "Matrix Queen", "Super Devil's Advocate", "Rock of Skepticism", "Gattaca", and "Pays Very Close Attention to Detail (aka Anal Retentive)", to name a few. And I have to admit, one of the best compliments I've received from a superior was, "B*tch suits you -- you should do it more often."

So no, as much as I adore my baby and love being a mom, I don't think I have it in me to become June Cleaver. My version of SAHM is going to be much closer to the following image, courtesy of my neighborhood mommy networking group. Instead of "Hi Honey", I tend more towards "Hiiii-YA!"

*Actually, I do have one nickname that could be construed as being nurturing: "Coach". But it wasn't given to me in the context of anything remotely maternal.