Wednesday, January 02, 2008

First deep thought of the new year

As I sit here at 4 AM, unable to go back to sleep after nursing Zachary, I started thinking about relationships and what makes them work (or not work). I thought about how people often say a good relationship requires a balance of "give and take". I used to believe that, but now I think that description is off by one very important word.

I think a relationship of any kind (social, professional, personal, romantic, familial, even adversarial) requires a balance of give and RECEIVE. Not "take". You must be willing to give what you can, and to graciously receive what is offered to you. "Taking" is much more aggressive, and I believe this concept leads to a lot of the headaches we experience in our relationships. "Taking" implies entitlement, and once a person feels entitled to something that inherently belongs to another person, trouble brews.

Imagine walking into an electronics store and saying, "I'm giving you $5.00, and I'm taking that HDTV". Errr...no. It doesn't work that way. Yet that's how many people approach relationships. "I'm giving you what I have/want/am able to give, and I will take from you what I want." Granted, relationships are not as simple and clear-cut as financial transactions, but there does need to be a bit of the same kind of understanding and respect between the parties involved.

So in this new year, I hope that you all have many reasons and much love, kindness and happiness to give, and that you will graciously receive an abundance of the same.

2 comments:

Meg said...

What a great deep thought - very true.

Anonymous said...

I have no idea why my name comes up as "stealth meg"... weird