To wed or not to wed

I'm heartened to know that at a time when there are so many critical issues facing the world, my government is willing to take valuable time to protect the social institution of marriage. I just know that they will focus on the important things -- the things that not only threaten the sanctity, but also make a downright mockery, of marriage and all for which it stands. They will crack down on things such as

• adultery


• wealthy older men making fools of themselves with trophy wives


• legal unions between people who do not have the emotional maturity or mental acuity to comprehend, let alone make, a decision of such magnitude

In fact, I'm sure that under this new legislation, such ill-fated marriages will be outlawed and adultery will become a crime punishable by law. Of course, all of our illustrious leaders who themselves have been entangled in adulterous affairs will do the right thing, step down from their positions, and turn themselves in.

Gosh, what a day it'll be when marriage is limited to mature, intelligent, faithful adults who understand and appreciate that the moral fate of our country rests upon their shoulders!

Oh wait, none of that is included in the new marriage legislation? Silly me, I thought I heard the proponents of the bill say something about the need to preserve the institution of marriage. I must have misunderstood.